The Lover and The Sufferer

I thought I was familiar with all the unpleasant feelings But here I am, surprised yet again I know I have to acknowledge it, there's no help in concealing If only I knew what I'm actually feeling Though it took a long time, before I felt something new And to think I was getting stable too How many lessons need I go through Why do I have to be tested so much I've had enough, now, I just want to be part of the normal bunch I'm done making efforts to make sure I don’t ruin other’s lives To be peaceful I try to forgive, to forget, but oh my It’s hard when I don't have anyone doing much for me I just want to flee Obviously, there's no saying that my case is the worst Oh but why must I feel so much, it's like I'm cursed Why can't I just not care like the others Why must I be the lover and the sufferer